Your three years old today, I can't believe three years has already flown by.
These three years have been full of love, happiness and joy, just having you in our lives. But, there has also been struggle, pain, and fear, diagnoses, surgeries.
As I think about the day you were born, I have so many different emotions running through my heart.
I wanted you to be a little girl, so very badly, when I found out you were coming into our lives. Daddy, and I prayed everyday that God would give us a little girl. The day I found out that you were going to be just that,
I was elated and already picked out your name! I'll never forget the day you came into the world, it was a scary and exciting day. I didn't know that I would have to have a C-section or that you would come into the world with a medical problem. I'll never forget how they brought you to my face, I thought "She's so beautiful" and my heart just overflowed.
I admit that when you were first born, and diagnosed with WPW, I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough for you. I was so overcome with my own fear and greif that I couldn't think or see clearly. I had no idea where your path would lead you, but I knew that I would do anything in my power to help you through. The first week of your little life, was very scary and we were so unsure. But, even then.. when you were so tiny.. you showed us how brave and strong you were.
With each year of life, there seems to come a new struggle and new hurdle for you to overcome.
I don't why you were given the problems you face, baby girl. It hurts me to my very soul to watch you go through so many scary things, things most adults have never had to face in their lifetime.
I don't carry your pain in my body sweetheart, but I carry it everyday in my heart, and I want you to know that if I could switch places with you, I would do so in a heart beat. I also know that I will not treat you any differently
than your brother or sister. I want you to grow up strong and confident. I want more than anything for you to have a "normal" childhood. I know going from Doctor to Doctor, Specialist to Specialist, surgery to surgery...
it may not seem normal. But you are so blessed sweetheart, You have the ability to take a dire situation and grow from it and make you the better from it. You have done just that over the last three years. I am encouraged and inspired by your strength. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but I can truly say that I have always done my best for you, and I will continue to do so. I want you to know that with pain comes growth and with growth comes relief.
Kaitlyn, as your Mother there is so many things I want you to know. I want to impress upon you, how beautiful and precious you are to me. How much you mean to our family, we would be lost without you in it.
I can’t imagine anyone NOT wanting to just embrace you and love you. You are such a magnet. Your sweet soul and being is contagious and you better everyone around you. You have such a nurturing and loving soul.
I want you to grow up knowing how incredibly special you are. What a gift to this world you are. The inner strength that you poses is amazing, It is incredibly painful to watch you have to suffer but you always keep your head up and persevere and that inspires me to overcome any obstacles we face together, baby girl.
You have another obstacle to face very soon my sweet girl, another surgery. I know I've questioned a million times "why? why another surgery?". But I know, I just have to trust in the God. That He knows what He's doing in your life, He knows the outcome. He knows your future and I know He will use you in mighty way one day, He already is :) I know that June 28th will be a very hard day for all of us, but none harder than for you.
I know, you'll show us once again your amazing inner strength, I know you'll prove all the odds wrong.
If you can go through it and come out fighting, then I know I go watch you go through another surgery.
There are many things that you can't possibly understand at the tender age of three years old, things you will only be able to learn with time. I can’t make promises in all fairness that I can not keep. I can’t promise you that you will never hurt, or cry or be let down or disappointed. What I can promise is that when you fall I will be here to pick you up and when you are sad I will be here to wipe your tears. I can promise that I will do everything in my power to be sure you have the tools you need to cope when you are down or life isn’t being fair. I can promise that I will love you unconditionally and support you in all things. At three years old life must seem profoundly simple. You wake, you eat, you play, you giggle, you sing. To you, there are no curves in your back, there are no scares from surgeries, there are no body casts in your way.. you are no different than anyone else around you. You are just simply a happy and content little girl. If we could all see life, the way you do, how much better it all would be. But when life isn’t quite so easy I will be here for you my sweet Kaitlyn. Whatever the years ahead hold I want you to always remember, I will be here to embrace you and love you and remind you of what a special force you are in this world. I love you to the depths of soul.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl.
Love,
Your Mommy