We chose to get her Silk Almond milk, I was afraid she wouldn't go any where near the stuff. She knows what "real" milk is! But, she LOVES it and when she asks for some she'll say "Mommy, I want my sweet milk". It's is simply adorable how she calls it her "sweet milk" :)
When she was baby, she was on soy formula, due to milk allergies. When she turned one her Ped. put her on whole milk and she seemingly did fine. But, I truly believe that when she drinks milk it greatly aggravates all the nasal drainage that she deals with. Since putting her on the almond milk, we have seen a slight decrease in the drainage. Although, not enough to take it all away.
It seems like we can't get rid of all her nasal drainage, and this is causing a bad cough. She's been pretty miserable the last week. When she coughs, her little lungs and ribs can't expand all the way, because of the cast. It breaks my heart to hear her cough so hard, she says "owe" after most of her coughs. I can't imagine. It's been very frustrating to me as a Mama, not to be able to just take it away from her. I have been doing all I know to do, for her drainage and cough, and it doesn't seem good enough.
We have been in earnest prayer over her cold, these last two weeks. I don't know why it is, but every time she is scheduled for a cast or surgery, that old rotten devil fights us... and fights HARD! She will ALWAYS get sick just before a cast or surgery. It is so very discouraging to me. It's hard enough that she even has to go through a casting or a surgery, why do we have to be constantly fought just to be able to do it?! I try so hard to keep her from people that I know are sick or have been recently sick. We try to avoid much public contact before a cast, as well.
We took Kaitlyn out of school this week, to avoid any further germs and illness. To which Kaitlyn was not very happy. She simply LOVES her teacher and her little friends. It makes me sad for her, that she has to miss a whole week of school. It's just another thing that Scoliosis takes away.
To make matters that much more worse, she woke up this morning with pink eye! I noticed the signs right away, as soon as she got up. I was crushed. Another blow. Pink eye and a cold.
Why? Why? Why? is all that's been going through my mind this morning. I have been just down right discouraged today..and I will admit... even a little bitter. NOT, towards God. But to the whole thing, really. My baby has to get another MRI next Wednesday, to check on some things since her last surgery in June 2012 (for her tethered spinal cord). It is very important that she gets it and of course she will be fully intabated, with full anesthesia. She needs to be fully healthy to be put under. So of course, she has been battling a cold and of course she wakes up with pink eye one week before her MRI. Isn't that just like the devil, to throw hurdles in front of her!
It just makes me so upset, I am human.. she's my baby. Why can't she be left alone?
It's bad enough, that she has to try and keep 100% healthy a week before spring break and then during spring break get an MRI done and try to keep being 100% healthy to get her 8th cast the following week. It's alot. Most children will get to be care free and having fun during their spring break. My baby, has to stay in doors and away from germs and get an MRI. "Not much fun for little harpo" (-Nemo) I hate it for her. It just breaks my heart.
I have felt upset, discouraged and down trodden today. SO many emotions come with all of this. I can't even put it into words fully. I have to obsess with her health and keeping her from germs. It's exhausting. I've also been dealing with the normal concerns of how her MRI results will come out this time around. The last 3 have revealed scary stuff, 2 major surgeries and the finding of her Chiari. MRI's quite frankly terrify me.. I don't like them. But, also thankful for them at the same time. I have been very concerned about how her little spine will hold while she's out for her cast break. Will she regress like last time? Will we finally get good news in Chicago? How will it all go? Also, wondering when will be the right time to take this cast off? The original plan was to take it off the morning of her MRI. But, if she's not healthy enough to have her MRI, we will most likely keep it on for another week. To make sure she's not without support for her spine, for to long.
So many emotions, so many concerns and fears, this all creates such discouragement within me. God knows my heart, I truly try and stay positive through it all. But, sometimes it's just SO hard to be. Today has been no exception. My sweet husband, is always so positive and supportive to me. I would be a hot mess without him and his wonderful attitude. He let me go shopping to get out and have a break. He encouraged me by his words and wisdom, thank you David Dobbs.. I love you! :)
Although, I am discouraged and worried today, I know that I can trust my Savior. He has it all under control, even though it all seems so NOT in control. He has always taken care of my little girl, since the day she came into this crazy world. In my devotions today, God gave me JUST what I NEEDED to read in His word. I want to share it with you!
In 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9 the Bible says "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed"
It is exactly what I needed to read today, and has helped me tremendously. Through Kaitlyn's journey we have been troubled on every side, we are often perplexed and we are cast down.
But, these things have not destroyed us and our walk with God. He has ALWAYS gotten us through these trying times with Kaitlyn. He always had her by the hand, walking with her every step of the way. I have no need to dispair what is not in my control, for it is in His ever capable hands.
I also read in 2nd Corinthians 4:17 "For our light affliction, which is for but a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory" Kaitlyn's afflictions are so hard on her little life, but they are not for nothing. She has been such a testimony to others around her, to her own parents every single day. She may one day do great and mighty things for God. Her life is a little light to all. One day David and I might get the blessing of helping another family or person who is going through a hard journey and we can be of help to them.. for having gone through these trials with Kaitlyn. The Bible also says in 2nd Corinthians 12:9-10 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities... for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." What an amazing scripture and one that frequently reference. I know that the power of Christ rests upon Kaitlyn, I have seen it with my own eyes. She has been able to beat the odds with her surgeries. She's healed up faster than anyone thought she could! She is the strongest little girl I have had the pleasure of knowing. He has given her such strength in her times of greatest weakness. It is amazing how TRUE this scripture is, and it comforts this Mama's heart more than I can express :) I couldn't imagine this journey without my Savior.
This is already much longer than I had plan to write, but this is my heart today. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Please help us be in prayer for our little Kaitlyn, she needs it very much right now! She is scheduled for an MRI on the 3rd of April at 10:30 A.M and on April 9th at 7:00 A.M she is scheduled for her 8th cast. She needs to be over her cold and pink eye 100% and it won't happen without prayer and faith. You know, her attitude is so positive that she is proud of her "pink" eye! Her favorite color is PINK.. so she thinks it's pretty cool that her eye is pink! haha
I love that little girl :) Thank you for your prayers dear friends and family, you mean so much to our lives... you really do. We will keep you updated as to when she gets her cast off and when and if she gets her MRI/cast done. We will be little hermits in our house for awhile.. NO GERMS PLEASE! praying that Isaac and Khloe don't catch pink eye as well. Thank you again!